The Worst

I think some of the worst stoops that I recall come from when I was back in secondary school. Trust me, if you went to boarding school, things were really a hustle back in the days. Things like food were high up in the priority list because the school was extremely stingy with their food especially in my first year there. That's why most of us were very skinny back in the days, they used some serious portion control to keep us in check. Although some stubborn ones still found a way to be chubby or fat. This maybe a reason why two boys took it upon themselves to eat several loaves of bread that were for a number of other students. During the Ramadan period, Loyola used to cater for the Muslim students in our school by giving them an earlier breakfast than the other students so that they could fast properly and all. They would set the table up in the night so that in the morning, the students would have no hassle. It was usually at about 4am. Two boys obviously not satisfied by the buns and tea that was for night cap, proceeded to keep awake all night till it was time for the early breakfast. In fact, they woke up earlier because they devised a plan to steal 16loaves of bread. I don't know what hunger came over them but yeah they stooped and stole the 16loaves and ended up getting the beating of their life after leaving the students hungry. One of them didn't eat bread for a while. I'm sure when he saw the loaf he remembered the beat down he suffered because of one of 'its' brothers.

Don't even get me started on visiting days. We were beastly with our requests. Pizza, can drinks, rice, chicken etc. Some people even went as far as being specific. Get me tanta roll from tantalizers, get me this from chocolate royale, get me this from grand square. There were even some days that MacDonald's was available. Bare people scurried all over campus to get a peak of the big mac sandwich. Some parents honoured these request some didn't. By the time I got to SS1, my parents stopped  looking at the list. They would just come with a cooler of jollof rice and fish with some ice cream as desert. They said they were tired of running around Abuja picking up things that would land me in the sick bay the next day. It is not necessary to elaborate on the fact that those on detention the next day were made to clean up the toilets in the classroom area.Now I am looking back, I think that eat everything now or die attitude can be classified as a stoop.

Fast forward to 2010 and I am at a party with some of my friends. We came in a rented car while some of my other friends came to Nottingham with taxi and all that. At the end of the night, the five of us that came in a rented car were ready to go home when we were stopped by a mate of mine. He said that all the people he came in a cab with had left and he must follow us because he didn't want to enter a cab on his jays. I was bemused because the car only takes five people, but then he comes up with a stoop low idea to enter the boot. He ended up entering the trunk of the car from Nottingham to Loughborough for the 25minute drive to save his buck. He even went further to show us it wasn't a thing by sleeping. If the police stopped us, I don't know how we would have explained that it was his choice.

On a different note I have a story to deter those who enjoy picking their nose as a hobby. I have a mate who enjoys picking his nose. He enjoys it so much that he doesn't use only one finger. He invites the others to come and join him in there. He ends up using like three or four of his fingers to get a proper pick of the booger. He now has a big lump in there, from years of picking. Moral of this little story is please use a tissue.