Friends and Bants

There are many people in the world who like to be alone and do as if they have a great time when they are on their own. I say Nay. This is a lie because when I'm on my own, I didn't have fun. I end up sleeping, or setting 'accums or watching a movie. Maybe most of you do not set accums but the other two things are very popular options when one is alone.Setting accums is betting for those who do not know. So for this reason I have a lot of friends. Whether they are Hi/Bye kind of friends or actual chill out friends doesn't matter because I enjoy company.

My Current crop of friends in my Uni are very interesting. They say alot of dumb stuff as well as stuff that should be used as ones motivational statement. I am constantly laughing because they are ridiculously funny. Anyway Friend J is the funniest person in the world. He is constantly blaspheming when it comes to Christianity as well as asking very deep questions about his natural religion of Islam. For those of you who are sensitive about religion skip the next sentence as these are his opinions not mine(that's my disclaimer). He says that King James must have been smoking a whole lot of weed for him to have compiled the bible.I would like to think he is an atheist but i will settle for agnostic. He also always gives me stories about his family. I was insulting him one day and i was like 'I'll get with your Mum'. A normal response would have been you're mad or don't say that but instead he said  and i quote 'so you go stoop so low as to give my mum. aww dude you're nasty'.Enough said about that.lol. He also told me a story of once when they were having a family dinner and his dad cracked a self depreciating joke and everyone laughed at him. The dad was laughing at first but when  the laugh became too much he stopped laughing. He said everyone else got the point to stop except his mum who was still loling. And the next action that occurred was a hot slunch(slap and punch at the same time) to his mums face. In fact the slunch was so hot that he broke her plate. I find this so funny. He has so many stories, its hard to have a dull moment when he is there. My sisters find him so funny and are always inviting him over and no its not to give.
Friend A is the weirdest. He has a weird policy that sees him never wearing underwear. I find it weird because only last year he had chartered like 30pairs of boxers from Calvin Klein store only to discard them in favour of a raw approach under his jeans. He is unabashed and unapologetic about this approach. He even says 'The person wey invent boxers dey mad.wetin be the point?'. He is crazy trust me and he comes up with new words and phrases every day. He went out one day and came back to tell me a story about what happened in the club. He was fuming and said to me 'skels, you no go imagine wetin happen. I see this guy for club dey lovey jays one fat bitch.the guy dey mad'. Please interpret for me what lovey jays is and how it has become a verb.lol. He also has a brother who is my friend  as well. This boy has been called a hell spit by my friend J. J said that he is so ugly that he is a stone that was rejected from hell. That he was fashioned by the devil himself and spat out to become a circus freak on earth.Excessive exaggeration but funny nevertheless.

These are just two of the crazy bunch that I find myself entangled in. They also find a way to insult those who are not as aesthetically pleasing as others. They say 'wow she ugg' or 'my days he ugg'. There are even different levels of description of an 'ugg person'. If someone is ugly on  a small scale level you can just say 'she ugg stupid'. A level above this  is to say 'she ugg stupid' but when someones looks are taking piss out of your eyes then that person ugg catastrophic. There is one person i saw the other day on campus. She was so unpleasant that I had to check if it was april fools or halloween or some shiiii.


There are so many more friends that I will profile later but these two are the weirdest. Anyway I know what you want and I got what you need in the meantime. Ai Den B